Over the past almost 10 years, as I have dived deeper and deeper into the coaching world, I have moments of significant learnings that excite me.
I have occasionally put some of my thoughts out into the world, but mostly not. My saboteurs* (negative self talk) jump in and tell me all sorts of things as they try to protect me, just as they did when I was young and needed their protection.
The usual not good enough stories like “Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say?” “So many others say these things anyway and mine’s just another voice”, “If it’s not perfect, I won’t do it”.
Today, as I continue to learn, grow and gain even more strength in who I am and who I want to be, I am sitting with a deep learning. It is about Being Alone.
We know, as humans, we are hardwired for connection and belonging. There is science around the importance of ’social safety’** and the deep human need to be connected to others. When we do not have this (like so many during our Covid lockdowns) the pain can be so deep we almost feel as if we are going to die.
I love how the universe puts in front of us things that we need to learn, we just need to be ready to see it. This quote by Paulo Coelho crossed my path this morning:
‘Be willing to go alone sometimes. You don’t need permission to grow’.
My life journey has reminded me that change is constant and inevitable. It has given me the lesson of being alone and my work is to find strength in myself. When we can be content within ourselves, work towards the difficult place of deep self-acceptance and self-love, we are then able to be stronger for ourselves and others. This is a vital component to our overall health and well-being, even if we are not alone.
As we head into a fresh year ahead, maybe you (or someone you know) are ready to
stress less, build powerful habits that move you from a negative to a more positive mindset, eat better, move more, be more focused and enjoy better relationships. We know what we want or need to change, but most people blame lack of time, resources or motivation. If change was easy we wouldn’t need so many, often overwhelming, strategies to help us start.
Experience, and drawing on the neuroscience of how we create sustainable habits, has shown me that keeping things so simple and taking one tiny step at a time (so that it’s almost impossible to fail) evokes the best results.
If you are looking for support to be your best you – be brave, take action and reach out.
Wishing you all a peaceful 2023 :)
*We all have ‘saboteurs’/mind chatter that constantly cause our negative emotion. These just waste our energy and take us away from being our best. Shirzad Chamine’s fabulous work in Positive Intelligence® (a body of work I am certified in) helps build our mental fitness to combat these negative thoughts and helps us move forward and achieve even better outcomes through a more positive and calming approach.
**The fabulous Neurozone® work (again I have an advanced certification) around developing high-performance talks about ‘Social safety’ as the need for belonging and bonding with others, knowing our identity, finding meaning and having trusting relationships. It is a key element in developing a strong foundation of well-being so we can become more resilient to deal with the constant challenges life throws our way.